


you don't need no other lover (we can keep it undercover)

by lexa_lives_in_us



Series: we don't even have to try (it's always a good time) [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: And in love, F/F, One Shot Collection, One Word Prompt Meme, Peraltiago, Prompt Fic, clearly, dianetti, everyone is bi, i just binged 6 seasons in two weeks, listen this is just them being weird and cute, so here we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-25 18:54:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21361033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexa_lives_in_us/pseuds/lexa_lives_in_us
Summary: It’s all Boyle’s fault, at the end of the day.He is the one who has the bright and very Boyle-ish idea of roasting chestnuts for the annual NYPD Charity Fundraiser.As the rest of the group fusses over Charles, who seems to have gotten the great majority of the explosion, Gina leans subtly against Rosa.“Y’know, you’re lucky they’re the worst detectives the Nine Nine has ever seen or they would’ve busted you immediately.”Rosa scoffs, but something in her stomach flips. She knows she's been ready for a while, now, but it just never occurred to her that she hasn't even told Gina.[Part 1 of One Word Prompt Challenge, a Collection of One-Shots about Gina and Rosa, the hot ass couple we all deserve.]
Relationships: Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Rosa Diaz & Amy Santiago, Rosa Diaz & Gina Linetti, Rosa Diaz & Jake Peralta, Rosa Diaz/Gina Linetti
Series: we don't even have to try (it's always a good time) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545223
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	you don't need no other lover (we can keep it undercover)

**Author's Note:**

> I've binge watched this show for the first time in the span of two weeks. I have no excuses.  
Check the full prompt list on my tumblr @lexa-lives-in-us  
I'm full Dianetti and Peraltiago trash, adieu.
> 
> [Also completely un beta'd]

**1: Chestnuts**

* * *

It’s all Boyle’s fault, at the end of the day.

He is the one who has the bright and very Boyle-ish idea of roasting chestnuts for the annual NYPD Charity Fundraiser.

It’s nothing they’re not familiar with, really.

Last year they had decided to host a party inside the 99th precinct in order to raise money for charity.

A terrible idea to start with.

Jake had tried to turn it into a themed party, Amy had damn nearly lost her mind when a group of children had turned her desk into a playing ground, using her coloured binders as canvases.

Holt had given a very unsuccessful inspiring speech, overshadowed by Scully and Hitchcock’s attempts to stuff their faces with the catered food.

Attempts that had turned into a full on war on who could fit more meatballs in their mouth, and that had naturally then turned into the two of them puking on about half the precinct.

Charles had tried to solve the situation, making it worse.

Terry had tried to keep himself out of it, until Scully had tried to refill his empty stomach by stealing his yogurt, which had prompted a chase around the bullpen.

Rosa had managed to keep her cool up until a flying yogurt had managed to make its way straight to her face, resulting in another chase.

And Gina had recorded the living hell out of it and posted it on Twitter.

Overall, Rosa doesn’t think it could go any worse than last year, really, but, she should know better by now.

She should know her friends better.

So, of course, she chalks it up to Boyle and his terrible ideas for everything that happens that day.  
  


The charity day itself starts off pretty normal, for the Nine-Nine.

Boyle has gotten his approval to start a whole roasting station on the roof, and Gina has screamed something about her Italian roots and chestnuts being an Italian tradition, before following him outside.

Rosa is ninety nine percent certain something is going to be set on fire by the end of the day, and she doesn't exclude the possibility of herself being the culprit.

Bored out of her mind, all her cases closed and filed, she throws a glance on the other side of the room.

Jake and Amy have been put on “Cone Duty” by Gina. Apparently, and no one can tell if Gina is lying or not, Italians eat their chestnuts out of newspapers rolled up in cones, and Rosa can see Amy flinching every time one of her beloved crossword pages end up in a roll.

Jake, on the other hand, is completely absorbed in the terrible job he’s doing.

“A guy can’t be perfect under every aspect, Sarge!” He whines when Terry points out that his cones are all too weak to hold any proper solid content.

“Terry didn’t say anything about perfect, Jake!” Jeffords claps back, grabbing a newspaper himself. He rolls one up in a few short seconds, and the difference between his cone and Jake’s is pretty evident.

“Rosa, back me up on this!” Jake pleads, turning to look at her. Amy not-so-subtly takes away the next crossword page from the pile to hide it under her desk.

Rosa looks at Jake. 

“No. Sarge is right. Your cones suck.”

Jake’s protest is interrupted by a semi explosion, and everyone drops whatever they’re doing to dart to the roof.

Rosa manages to get Gina on her feet right where she’s launched herself to avoid the explosion, and her fingers brush her cheek for a quick moment, moving Gina’s face to check for injuries.

Gina just smirks and lets her do it, and Rosa really shouldn’t be surprised that the woman had managed to get out of the situation with barely a single scratch. She shouldn’t be surprised at all, but she’s grateful nonetheless.

As the rest of the group fusses over Charles, who seems to have gotten the great majority of the explosion, Gina leans subtly against Rosa.

“Y’know, you’re lucky they’re the worst detectives the Nine Nine has ever seen or they would’ve busted you immediately.”

Rosa scoffs, but something in her stomach flips. She knows she's been ready for a while, now, but it just never occurred to her that she hasn't even told Gina.

They are great at this relationship thing, really, and they've been fantastic at hiding it from the squad, but they're still immensely bad at coomunicating like normal people.

"Maybe I don't care if they do."

Gina's head does that weird, wave-y movement that is absolutely not human but one hundred percent necessary for the flare ("Flare is everything, Rosa. _Everything_!") as Gina turns to look at her.

Rosa barely bites back a smirk, because it’s not everyday one can surprise Gina Linetti.

“Oh, daaaaaaaaaamn, gurl!” It’s her girlfriend’s only comment.

Rosa rolls her eyes.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

Gina snickers, pulling her phone out to check her reflection with the camera, snapping a couple selfies in the process.

“I make a big deal out of everything, you’re nothing special, boo.” She comments with nonchalance.

Rosa almost smiles.

They both know she _is_ special.

They have been dating for almost a year, and not only things are going great between them, but Gina hasn’t posted a single thing about it on social media, she hasn’t changed her relationship status on Facebook, posted a snide remark on Twitter, or done anything that could endanger Rosa’s privacy.

And it’s not like Rosa is ashamed.

If anything, she’s proud of herself for being the only person who has been able to make a somewhat honest woman out of Gina Linetti.

But Rosa is and always has been a very private person.

She is still half considering changing apartment after the squad has gone to visit last time, and the Nine Nine is her family, the people she trusts most in the whole goddamn world.

Her relationship, though, is another matter altogether.

Rosa has had her reservations in the past regarding sharing that part of her life with the Nine Nine, and when she’s done it, something has gone terribly wrong immediately after.

This thing with Gina, although absolutely crazy and impossible to describe, matters to her.

The things that have scared her in the past relationships, like the mushiness and seriousness with Marcus, or the absence of common grounds with Adrian, are now something she cherishes about her relationship with Gina.

They are as different as they come, and Rosa has no idea what Gina is talking about for a good ninety percent of the time. Gina is open about how she feels, and whether it’s a showcase of despair because of the Brangelina's break up or her declaration of love that she’s given after barely three months of them dating, she is loud and proud about it.

And yet, Rosa loves those things about her.

She looks down at her girlfriend, who has managed to start an Instagram Live to show the world what was once the precinct roof, and her lips twitch into a half smile.

It’s time she lets the squad connect the dots.

Having both his eyebrows completely burned off is not enough to stop Charles Boyle from roasting the damn chestnuts.

This time, Gina is banned from helping, since -to no one’s surprise- it turns out that the explosion was entirely her fault.

(“Mhm, my b!”)

They gather around her desk, trying to figure out how to determine whether or not she’s suffering from a concussion from the fall caused by the blast.

“People with concussions tend to act erratic.” Holt instructs them, while Gina opens Kwazy Cupcakes on her phone. “They might appear dazed, confused, their responses might be delayed.”

Amy tilts her head.

“So how’s that any different from regular Gina?”

Gina, without looking up from her phone, points her finger at Amy.

“Now _she’s_ asking the real questions.”

The group turns to look at her.

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” Terry asks.

“Nope.” She responds, popping the p.

Rosa’s lips twitch, but she manages not to smile.

“Concussions are a serious thing, Gina.” Jake says. “You shouldn’t be staring at your phone, for starters.”

And he proceeds to pluck Gina’s phone out of her hands.

Silence falls in the bullpen, and Rosa uncrosses her arms, ready to catch Jake’s cadaver.

Because Gina is slowly but surely looking up, her hands still clutching the empty space where her phone once was, and there’s pure bloodlust in her eyes.

“Jake. Put it back.” Amy whispers.

“Do not do it, Jake.” Holt pushes back instead. “Think of Gina’s well-being.”

Jake releases a desperate sound, a howl of indecision that only grows in volume and pitch once Gina starts to slowly stand up.

“Listentotheloveofmylifeortomydad?!” Jake almost screams, panic in his voice.

As much as the situation amuses her, Rosa decides to intervene.

“Lame.” She snatches the phone from Jake’s hands. “You, think before you act. That was stupid.”

Gina’s murderous stare remains on Jake as she nods. Her hand extends in Rosa’s direction.

“Forget about it.” Rosa says.

Everyone turns to look at her, including Gina.

“Whaaaaaaaaat.” Jake whispers, both terrified and excited.

“What.” Gina repeats, her palm still up.

Rosa slips the phone in her pocket and raises one eyebrow.

“Rosaaaaaaa!” Gina whines, the murder melting from her eyes. “C’mon, girl!”

Rosa crosses her arms, unfazed.

“I’m gonna watch over Gina, Sir.” She says to Holt, no emotion in her voice. “I’ll keep her away from every screen. And from the roof.”

Holt doesn’t question it, nods his approval and walks away.

“Rrrrrrroooosaaaaaaaaa!” Gina wails again.

Terry shakes his head and goes back to his desk, leaving Jake and Amy to look at each other first, then at Gina and Rosa.

There’s something in their eyes, something close to suspicion, and Rosa narrows her eyes.

“What.” She snaps.

Both Jake and Amy raise their hands.

“Nothing.”

“Everything’s cool.”

“Yup. Cool cool cool.”

Gina clicks her tongue at them, and they scamper.

Rosa shakes her head, without turning to look at Gina.

“Aren’t they supposed to be the best detectives in this precinct?” She mutters. “They suck.”

Gina slowly extends her hand towards Rosa’s pocket.

“Your friends, Rosie, not mine.”

Rosa tilts her head, still watching Amy and Jake as they discuss something in the break room.

“You told me you would die for them not longer than two nights ago.”

Gina hums, her hand almost inside the other woman’s pocket.

“I will deny it until said death, and I will murder you and your children if you dare say it to someone, no matter the fantastic, earthshakingly good sex we have.”

Rosa slaps Gina’s hand away without even turning around.

“I don’t have children.”

Gina, nonplussed by her failure of retrieving her phone, shrugs.

“You should. _We_ should. Do you wanna make a baby, Rosa-poo?”

Rosa scoffs.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I love you.”

“I’m not giving you your phone back.”

“I hate you.”

“I thought you wanted my babies.”

It’s Gina’s turn to scoff.

“And not pass down my perfect DNA? Who do you think I am? _You_ will be having _my_ babies.”

Rosa honest to God snorts, and half the precinct turns to look at her.

“Piss off.” She barks, and they all go back to their business immediately.

Jake and Amy run back to the break room.

“Mhm. Honestly, I don’t think that they’ll ever realize we’re smooshing booties.”

Rosa shoots her a disgusted glare, and Gina scrunches up her face.

“Ew, gross. I just grossed myself out. I’ve been spending too much time around Boyle. Or maybe I really do have a concussion.” She nods to herself. “That must be it. Only a concussed Gina Linetti could say something like that.”

Rosa shakes her head, fishing the phone from her pocket and sliding it on the desk back to Gina.

“Don’t make me regret it.”

Gina claps her hands a squeaks a “Yayyyyyy!” That only manages to make Rosa’s heart somersault.

Gina grabs her phone and grazes her fingers against Rosa’s hand.

“I love you.” She says again, and this time is heartfelt, honest, open.

Rosa stares at her for a long moment.

“Love you, too.” She says quickly, before turning and walking back to her desk.

She sees Amy and Jake not so subtly watching them from the door of the break room and scoffs to herself.

Honestly, the worst detectives ever.

Ten minutes later, six phones ping from a received notification, and Rosa raises an eyebrow, putting down her own device.

She counts to three, and then...

“What?!” Jake exclaims from the break room.

“When?!” Amy looks up from the phone hidden in her report.

“Who?” Charles comes running from the roof, completely covered in ash and smelling of half burned chestnuts.

“Why!” Scully interjects happily, clueless to whatever is happening.

Terry doesn’t say anything, but he’s the first to reach Rosa’s desk, where she’s still sitting, feet propped up on her desk.

Her eyes are on Gina, who looks like she’s just seen Beyoncé standing right in front of her.

“Really?” She mouths.

Rosa nods, then turns to look at the squad, now rounding her desk.

“Who are they?” Jake asks, excited like a kid at Christmas time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rosa comments, deeply amused.

“You’ve changed your relationship status on Facebook, Rosa. To “in a relationship”!” Amy interject, lifting her phone. She freezes. “Wait. Maybe you’ve been hacked. Were you hacked?”

“Oh, that?” Rosa asks. “No, it’s true.”

Terry squeals something horrendously similar to “Terry _loves_ love!”

“Gross.” It’s Rosa’s comment.

Gina, emerging from where she’d been lurking, props herself up on Rosa’s desk.

“A miracle. A once in a lifetime event!” She mocks, successfully riling up the group. “Rosa Diaz is in love! What a scoop!”

Rosa rolls her eyes so far back in her skull she thinks they might get stuck there.

Amy gasps, looking at Rosa first and then at Gina.

“You!” She almost screams, pointing a finger at her friend. “_You_!”

Gina, happy as one can be, simply nods. “Mhm! Me!”

“You... You _knew_!”Amy finishes in a shriek.

“Wait what?” Rosa says.

Gina groans. “Seriously?! You _people_!”

They all ignore them, as Jake and Amy turn to look at each other.

“It makes sense!” Jake bounces back. “You two have been acting suspicious the whole day! You’ve kept it as a secret from us!”

“You’ve known- how long have you known Rosa is in a serious relationship?” Terry jumps in, while Charles gasps.

“Do we know them? Oh my Go-oh-od, that’s what you were doing when I walked in the evidence room the other day! I _knew_ you were up to something!_ You were discussing Rosa’s secret partner!”_

Gina is in awe as she glances at every single member of the group. Rosa just looks like she might set fire to the room.

“You caught us one against the other against a shelf and your conclusion is that we’ve been telling secret to each other?” Rosa clarifies.

Charles nods. “You two have always been awfully close.”

“Wow.” Rosa says.

“This is fantastic.” Gina stage whispers.

“This is ridiculous.” Rosa corrects, standing up. “Call me whenever they find their brains.”

She heads for the bathroom, then stops.

She turns around, and counts.

Gina, one.

Jake and Amy, two and three.

Charles and Terry, four and five.

“I heard six phones going off because of my notification. Creepy, by the way-“

“We take all the crumbs we can get.” Jake proudly admits.

“-But there’s five of you here.”

Gina, Jake, Amy, Charles and Terry all look at each other, counting quickly in their heads.

Before anyone can say anything, Holt’s voice booms from his office.

“I am only human, Detective Diaz!”

The rest of the day is spent with the squad trying to guess who Rosa’s mystery partner might be, and Rosa is just about ready to grab the fire extinguisher and soak every single one of her friends.

Gina, on the other hand, is having the time of her life.

To every question the group asks, she gives incredibly ambiguous answers that, although honest and truthful, don’t unmask her completely of her real role.

Luckily, Charles is called back to his job, and Terry and Jake get called out on a case.

Rosa shoots a glance at Gina from the photocopier, watching as her girlfriend, phone in one hand and pen in the other, one headphone in her ear and the other dangling from the wire, is smirking up at Amy.

“Oh yeah. Rosa’s partner is super famous. Huge online following. _Doy_!”

Rosa rolls her eyes and goes back to photocopying her knife.

By the time the evening rolls around, Rosa has managed to avoid the stupid questions altogether, while Gina has answered every single one of them. Nonetheless, the team seems still absolutely clueless about the reality of the situation.

After closing their case, Jake and Terry have been called out by Boyle to fill the cones with roasted chestnuts, while Amy has been put on cash duty.

They all carry the inane amount of chestnuts downstairs, at the first floor, where the public has been gathering for the charity event.

Rosa manages to breathe a sigh of relief.

As absurd and amusing the situation is, she’s also relieved her friends have to focus their attention somewhere else.

“You know you don’t have to do this.” Gina murmurs to her as she fills up her water cup, right next to where Rosa is standing, half leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

Rosa looks at her team, her family.

“I want to.”

Gina nods and saunters away, not so accidentally dumping her full cup on a child’s head.

“Oops, sorry not sorry, your kid is a monster!” Rosa hears Gina giggle, before she disappears in the crowd.

The night goes on without any major hiccup. Scully and Hitchcock manage to get their hands on a stupid amount of chestnuts and have to excuse themselves to the bathroom half hour into the event.

Charles literally saves the day with the amount of chestnuts he has roasted, and the New Yorkers give a brief but happy applause in acknowledgement of the man’s efforts.

The charity is a success, and the Nine Nine retreats back to their floor to celebrate for a few hours on their own.

Charles places himself back behind the chestnuts station, roasting warm goodies for everyone. Attracted by the delicious smell, Scully and Hitchcock re-join them outside on the roof.

Holt releases a couple delighted sounds every time he bites into a chestnut, making Kevin, who has arrived an hour earlier with Cheddar, almost smile. The Captain’s sounds seem to make Charles even happier than the applause did.

Amy starts tossing chestnuts at Jake, who victoriously catches every single one mid air with his mouth.

It’s a weird family, Rosa admits to herself, but she likes it as it is.

“I’ll murder you if you tell him, but Boyle really nailed this chestnuts thing.”

Gina approaches her, munching happily on a chestnut, one full cone in her hands.

“You seem incredibly inclined to the idea of murdering me today.”

Before Gina can clap back, a shriek coming from Amy reaches their ears and Jake all but falls on Gina, rolling on the floor together with the chestnut he’s just failed to catch.

The cone Gina is holding goes flying, and Rosa finds herself showered in roasted chestnuts.

Silence falls on the roof.

Gina looks up at Rosa’s blank expression and releases a giggle.

“Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” She asks, mischievously.

Rosa scoffs, and grabs Gina’s chin between thumb and index finger, tilting her head up.

“At least it’s not yogurt, this time.” She agrees, before leaning down to kiss her.

She can taste chestnuts on her lips and yeah, Charles really nailed it this time.

Of course the kiss, the silence nor the peace last long.

The initial shock fades and Rosa finds herself surrounded by the Nine Nine before she can even fully realize what’s happening.

Jake and Amy are both ecstatic and shocked, Holt is smiling that creepy half smile of his and Charles and Terry are full on crying.

They shoot a question after the other, to which Rosa’s anxiety tries to answer with kicking and biting until she’s free.

Luckily, Gina knows her and how the attention might overwhelm her, and uses one arm to push everyone away, while hooking the other around Rosa’s waist.

“A’ight losers! You already know the answer to half of those questions since you asked them aaaaaaall to me today.” She exclaims, with a tone of faux annoyance that doesn’t hide how happy she really is. “So let a girl breathe.”

“But you said that Rosa’s relationship have been going on for a year!” Amy points out.

“It’s true.” Rosa finally responds. “We’ve bene together since the last charity event.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.” Jake exhales.

“Homegirl was covered in Sarge’s yogurt so I, being the wonderful, Good Samaritan that I am, helped her clean up while you all brought Scully to the hospital. Got her a change of clothes and all that.”

Rosa sneaks an arm around Gina’s shoulder, a smile threatening to split her features.

“We kissed in the bathroom after she saw my abs.”

Gina scoffs theatrically.

“Girl, anyone would kiss you after seeing your abs.”

Jake nods in agreement and Amy sighs a dreamy: “Yeah.” which only makes the situation even more surreal.

“Been together ever since.” Rosa concludes.

Terry, who’s finally stopped crying, points a finger at Gina.

“And you haven’t made a single post about it on your social media for _a year_?”

Gina shrugs.

“No biggie.”

“No biggie?! Last relationship you had you live tweeted every minute about it for _a week_ before we asked you to stop because you were slowing down our phones.”

Gina waves a hand, dismissively.

“If I spend my time tweeting about it and not enjoying my time with them, it means they’re definitely not worth my attention. Dooooy?!”

Holt clears his voice, successfully shifting the focus on him.

“I am glad to see that this companionship of yours seems to make the both of you happy. Gina has clearly stated that you are worth it, Detective Diaz. I assume you are happy as well?”

“I love her, Sir.” Rosa responds, no emotion in her voice, and an ocean of it in her eyes.

Jake and Amy squeal, Terry and Charles start crying again.

“Love who?”

The group turns to look at Hitchcock and Scully, sitting right next to them, chomping down on chestnuts.

“How do you two even manage to find your way to work every day?!” Gina asks, absolutely disconcerted.

Scully shrugs.

“I don’t know. I sleep here?”

There’s another moment of silence.

“Is that- was that a question?” Jake asks the group. “I honestly couldn’t tell.”

Amy tilts her head, dragging Jake away.

“I wouldn’t know what would be worse.”

The groups goes back to their celebrations and Rosa shakes her head, tightening her grip on Gina, who only leans further into her in response.

“Hey, Ro-Ro?”

Rosa grunts. She’s long given up on the ridiculous nicknames.

“I have a bit of a headache from my concussion earlier.” Gina continues, a grin on her face. “And you know what’s good for headaches?”

“I’m not having sex with you if you have a concussion.”

Gina doesn’t bat an eye.

“I lied. My head is fine. I just wanna smoosh booties.”

Rosa stares at her and Gina grimaces.

“Okay, I _might_ have a concussion.”

Rosa rolls her eyes, then crouches down and lifts Gina up in her arms, bridal style.

“You’re not the only one who does things for the flare, babe.” Rosa points out at an already grinning Gina.

The Nine Nine whoops, and Jake lifts his chestnut cone in a sort of cheer: “Noice!”

Yeah, Rosa thinks, noice indeed.


End file.
